One evening at the border town I visit once a month J, R & I were sat waiting for our evening meal at our local eating spot - the corner restaurant. Two women who work there were sat on the table next to us with a their children - a pre-school girl & maybe in grade one boy - it was obviously going to be a long wait for food because they were all preoccupied with a stag beetle they had found.
I was directly facing them so watched as they captured the beetle & tormented the 3 year old girl by attaching it to her clothes & laughing at her whilst she screamed & became frozen with fear. This kept them entertained for a fair few minutes. Then they directed their focus of attention to the restaurant dog whose nose they attached the beetle to - he also freaked out, yelping & whining & running around in circles - distressed trying to remove the latched on hissing beetle. This caused enormous hilarity amongst the adults & children, even the recently tormented young girl.
Then the boy captured the beetle & began picking off its legs & piercing the beetle with tooth picks, whilst the adults sat laughing & encouraging him, the little girl played with her scooter & the dog slunk under a table that was safe kicking distance away. J & I exchanged a knowing, pained glances. I turned to R & asked him what he thought J & I were feeling right now.
Disgusted? - he responded.
But how do you feel about it? I queried.
Nothing - he shrugged.
The threshold for macabre acts is a lot higher here for obvious & previously stated reasons.
I understand & accept that my idea of animal cruelty, child neglect & emotional abuse, acceptable behaviour towards woman and health care worker's compassion & professionalism are different from R's due to a myriad of socio-cultural-economic factors but I was curious to know what does actually upset or disgusted R.
Nothing - he continued to watch the TV.
The great thing about having a cross cultural friendship, I have learnt, is you get to question incessantly, harass, mock, provocate, tease, doubt, challenge, be completely insufferable & generally over step boundaries all under the flag of exploring cultural differences. To clarify - this is a two way street with R. So as is fitting with our friendship I continued to push R for an answer.
There must be something that you see here that disgusts you? - I insisted.
No.
To be fair I have seen R not flinch at pretty much most things, he actively enjoys the diaster porn that is Cambodian media or the ultra violent Chinese movies shown on buses, as a nurse in a heavily land mined country he has seen his fair share of trauma, as a child & young adult he lived through a violent & bloody civil war, social injustice continues to be common place here.
You are devoid of all disgust? Everything you see & hear is palatable? - I persisted.
R is not stupid & could tell I wasn't going to give up & let him watch TV until he had given me an answer.
Sim pee - he eventually replied whilst still fixated on the news coverage of a hanging with graphic footage. In Cambodia phones with 2 SIM cards are common - SIM pee (pee is Khmer for 2) - it is also the slang for a homosexual male.
Luckily our meal then finally arrived & I was left to ponder over my rice whether my best Cambodian friend is really homophobic or just knows exactly how to provoke, incense & ignite my blue touch paper. Both are equally probable. I think I'm going to miss the continual uncertainly & challenge of living in a completely different culture. I know I will miss R.
I was directly facing them so watched as they captured the beetle & tormented the 3 year old girl by attaching it to her clothes & laughing at her whilst she screamed & became frozen with fear. This kept them entertained for a fair few minutes. Then they directed their focus of attention to the restaurant dog whose nose they attached the beetle to - he also freaked out, yelping & whining & running around in circles - distressed trying to remove the latched on hissing beetle. This caused enormous hilarity amongst the adults & children, even the recently tormented young girl.
Then the boy captured the beetle & began picking off its legs & piercing the beetle with tooth picks, whilst the adults sat laughing & encouraging him, the little girl played with her scooter & the dog slunk under a table that was safe kicking distance away. J & I exchanged a knowing, pained glances. I turned to R & asked him what he thought J & I were feeling right now.
Disgusted? - he responded.
But how do you feel about it? I queried.
Nothing - he shrugged.
The threshold for macabre acts is a lot higher here for obvious & previously stated reasons.
I understand & accept that my idea of animal cruelty, child neglect & emotional abuse, acceptable behaviour towards woman and health care worker's compassion & professionalism are different from R's due to a myriad of socio-cultural-economic factors but I was curious to know what does actually upset or disgusted R.
Nothing - he continued to watch the TV.
The great thing about having a cross cultural friendship, I have learnt, is you get to question incessantly, harass, mock, provocate, tease, doubt, challenge, be completely insufferable & generally over step boundaries all under the flag of exploring cultural differences. To clarify - this is a two way street with R. So as is fitting with our friendship I continued to push R for an answer.
There must be something that you see here that disgusts you? - I insisted.
No.
To be fair I have seen R not flinch at pretty much most things, he actively enjoys the diaster porn that is Cambodian media or the ultra violent Chinese movies shown on buses, as a nurse in a heavily land mined country he has seen his fair share of trauma, as a child & young adult he lived through a violent & bloody civil war, social injustice continues to be common place here.
You are devoid of all disgust? Everything you see & hear is palatable? - I persisted.
R is not stupid & could tell I wasn't going to give up & let him watch TV until he had given me an answer.
Sim pee - he eventually replied whilst still fixated on the news coverage of a hanging with graphic footage. In Cambodia phones with 2 SIM cards are common - SIM pee (pee is Khmer for 2) - it is also the slang for a homosexual male.
Luckily our meal then finally arrived & I was left to ponder over my rice whether my best Cambodian friend is really homophobic or just knows exactly how to provoke, incense & ignite my blue touch paper. Both are equally probable. I think I'm going to miss the continual uncertainly & challenge of living in a completely different culture. I know I will miss R.
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