I scratched up another Buddhist ceremony last week as part of S - my khmer teacher - one woman attempt to convert me to Buddhism.
This one Kathen - កឋិន is a monk robe giving ceremony which happens once a year & gives the donor a better chance of a good life when reincarnated. The robes were $45 which is significantly more than any items of clothing I currently possess. The date was set for Wednesday so I agreed to meet S at 3 pm for an hour to do the ceremony.
On the day at 2 45 pm I received a frantic call from S to tell me that the ceremony was starting sooner than expected & I must come immediately. I started to pack my things up before cycling the 5 minutes to her Pagoda when I received a second even more frantic call from S telling me it had started already & she was going on with out me. It was 2 46 pm. This is Cambodia.
By the time I arrived at the Pagoda they were on the third & final lap of the pagoda. S was carrying the box of monk robes on her head & beaming like a happy buddhist, safe in the knowledge that a good next life was in the bag.
The thing that struck me about the large procession of people all looking for better reincarnation was that they were predominantly women. Perhaps Cambodian women have, I mused, more reasons than men to improve their next life.
S found us a spot by the door where everyone coming in & out, as well as all around could stare & gawp at the only barang in the crowded Pagoda. A woman gave me a flier for something which I took smiling & then immediately gave to S. S started rooting around in her bag for Riel. The woman was asking for money for another Pagoda & spent the next 2 hours milking the crowd. "Give only a little" S hissed at me as she slipped a 500 Riel note into the flier & passed it back to me. Apparently you can't reach enlightenment in Cambodia without a lot of money being forked out first.
The master of ceremonies started to call out names & pairs of people picked their way through the packed Pagoda to offer the robes to the monks sat at the front beneath the huge gold Buddha.
Concerned I asked S - I won't have to go up there will I?
S smiled reassuringly back at me & shook her head & told me to wait.
I got given a bottle of water.
I made friends with a 2 year old boy eating dried banana who had a similar vocabulary to me. He enjoyed showing me his half masticated banana.
My legs went numb.
My back went in to spasm.
I marvelled at the callouses on the ankles of the old khmer women who have spent a life time sitting on hard floors with out the soles of their feet showing.
I admired the variation of the traditional Pagoda dress of sampot & white shirt. Some women had intricate sequinned lace tops, other beautiful embroidered cotton blouses. Some Sampots were traditional khmer silk, other Laos or burmese pattern. All were in their Sunday best.
Out side the Yays gathered, drank tea, chewed betel nut & the fat.
I felt the familiar feeling of inner peace wash over me as I stared up at the intricate paintings of Buddha's life story on the ceiling, felt the cold tiles under my numb legs & inhaled the incense & talc ladened air.
"ESTHER WILSON" the man with the microphone shouted.
I snapped back to reality. S had already leapt up & was nimbly tip toeing toward the front of the Pagoda. I sat literally paralysed as it would take at least 5 minutes to get my legs working again.
"ESTHER WILSON" was called again.
The Yays all sat around me started to mutter - go Esther Wilson, go!
I looked imploringly at S - You said I didn't have to go up?
She smiled serenely & told me it didn't matter.
"ESTHER WILSON???"
The Yays all looked at me accusingly. "Tow - Go!"
"I am shy" - I replied
Ohhhhhh - they all nodded in agreement - Ean - they murmured. The barang is shy.
Meanwhile S got to give her monk robes & buy a few more future life credits.
There then was a long session of buddhist chanting which at one point sounded like an ambient track I once owned when I was at university. I felt awkward about recording it until I saw one of the monks get out his smart phone & film the proceedings.
The lab lady from the hospital saw me on the way out & amused asked S what I was doing there. Every one looked very happy, it must be nice to believe that you have secured yourself some good karma for the next reincarnation.
Why didn't you come up with me to give the robe? S asked me crossly when we got back to her house.
You said it was ok for me not to! I replied defensively, bewildered by her sudden change in mood.
I wanted to do it with you, next year you come back & we will feed the monks AND do monk robe ceremony together, both. Every year in this life so we will be together in the next life.
But I don't believe in any other life but this one, I deferred.
The sharp intake of breath from S was adequate reproach.
I gave her a kiss & apologised for being a constant source of disappointment & worry to her, she is after all my Cambodian mother.
Then I went back to work, safe in the knowledge that I would need an awful lot of ceremonies or Bon to ever be any where near a good person.
This one Kathen - កឋិន is a monk robe giving ceremony which happens once a year & gives the donor a better chance of a good life when reincarnated. The robes were $45 which is significantly more than any items of clothing I currently possess. The date was set for Wednesday so I agreed to meet S at 3 pm for an hour to do the ceremony.
On the day at 2 45 pm I received a frantic call from S to tell me that the ceremony was starting sooner than expected & I must come immediately. I started to pack my things up before cycling the 5 minutes to her Pagoda when I received a second even more frantic call from S telling me it had started already & she was going on with out me. It was 2 46 pm. This is Cambodia.
By the time I arrived at the Pagoda they were on the third & final lap of the pagoda. S was carrying the box of monk robes on her head & beaming like a happy buddhist, safe in the knowledge that a good next life was in the bag.
The thing that struck me about the large procession of people all looking for better reincarnation was that they were predominantly women. Perhaps Cambodian women have, I mused, more reasons than men to improve their next life.
S found us a spot by the door where everyone coming in & out, as well as all around could stare & gawp at the only barang in the crowded Pagoda. A woman gave me a flier for something which I took smiling & then immediately gave to S. S started rooting around in her bag for Riel. The woman was asking for money for another Pagoda & spent the next 2 hours milking the crowd. "Give only a little" S hissed at me as she slipped a 500 Riel note into the flier & passed it back to me. Apparently you can't reach enlightenment in Cambodia without a lot of money being forked out first.
The master of ceremonies started to call out names & pairs of people picked their way through the packed Pagoda to offer the robes to the monks sat at the front beneath the huge gold Buddha.
Concerned I asked S - I won't have to go up there will I?
S smiled reassuringly back at me & shook her head & told me to wait.
I got given a bottle of water.
I made friends with a 2 year old boy eating dried banana who had a similar vocabulary to me. He enjoyed showing me his half masticated banana.
My legs went numb.
My back went in to spasm.
I marvelled at the callouses on the ankles of the old khmer women who have spent a life time sitting on hard floors with out the soles of their feet showing.
I admired the variation of the traditional Pagoda dress of sampot & white shirt. Some women had intricate sequinned lace tops, other beautiful embroidered cotton blouses. Some Sampots were traditional khmer silk, other Laos or burmese pattern. All were in their Sunday best.
Out side the Yays gathered, drank tea, chewed betel nut & the fat.
I felt the familiar feeling of inner peace wash over me as I stared up at the intricate paintings of Buddha's life story on the ceiling, felt the cold tiles under my numb legs & inhaled the incense & talc ladened air.
"ESTHER WILSON" the man with the microphone shouted.
I snapped back to reality. S had already leapt up & was nimbly tip toeing toward the front of the Pagoda. I sat literally paralysed as it would take at least 5 minutes to get my legs working again.
"ESTHER WILSON" was called again.
The Yays all sat around me started to mutter - go Esther Wilson, go!
I looked imploringly at S - You said I didn't have to go up?
She smiled serenely & told me it didn't matter.
"ESTHER WILSON???"
The Yays all looked at me accusingly. "Tow - Go!"
"I am shy" - I replied
Ohhhhhh - they all nodded in agreement - Ean - they murmured. The barang is shy.
Meanwhile S got to give her monk robes & buy a few more future life credits.
There then was a long session of buddhist chanting which at one point sounded like an ambient track I once owned when I was at university. I felt awkward about recording it until I saw one of the monks get out his smart phone & film the proceedings.
The lab lady from the hospital saw me on the way out & amused asked S what I was doing there. Every one looked very happy, it must be nice to believe that you have secured yourself some good karma for the next reincarnation.
Why didn't you come up with me to give the robe? S asked me crossly when we got back to her house.
You said it was ok for me not to! I replied defensively, bewildered by her sudden change in mood.
I wanted to do it with you, next year you come back & we will feed the monks AND do monk robe ceremony together, both. Every year in this life so we will be together in the next life.
But I don't believe in any other life but this one, I deferred.
The sharp intake of breath from S was adequate reproach.
I gave her a kiss & apologised for being a constant source of disappointment & worry to her, she is after all my Cambodian mother.
Then I went back to work, safe in the knowledge that I would need an awful lot of ceremonies or Bon to ever be any where near a good person.
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