Change

This week I was shouted off the paediatric ward for trying to follow up training on severe acute malnutrition in children & told that I had no right to tell people how to change patient care because I am low status & a woman, my credentials have been found lacking by the Cambodian health workers. After 2 & a half years of the same shit every day I have started to think it definitely must be my problem even if my problem is staying when clearly nobody wants me here. The Hospital director told me most of the staff don't like me, they clearly don't respect me. The former I can live with but without the latter how can I influence change here? I am so sick of being ignored & abused whilst negligence, ignorance & arrogance literally kill children (and adults). How can you help people change when they don't want to change? I lamented. Why am I here? I asked in a pit of existential angst.

Meanwhile my good Cambodian friend, work colleague & fellow evictee from the paediatric ward, was given english homework to write a short piece on 'change', so as I am his proof reader he showed a draft to me. Initially he had thought about writing about his workplace but realised, after just a little thought, that this didn't really involve any change so instead he wrote this titled 'The change of place':

"Sometime the change brings more development to the country or place. In 1990, there weren't too many patient people who live in BTB province. many streets and pathway had destroyed by sivil [sic] war. Some of market had closed as the security was not good enough for doing a business. Most people were killed by mine and robbery and separated from their relative. After this situation had been finished, the people were able to do their own business. Most of the streets either in the town or remote area were also constructed. Especially in the town, was developed to be a model city. The other thing most people economic is improving a lot."

I can always rely on my PTSD afflicted Cambodian best friend to put things here in to perspective.