My deputy director, ON, told me today that there are 4 stages of anger. He is a psychiatrist & this is his take on anger.
Stage 1 - Anger
A week ago the paediatric doctor was at this stage with me. He completely lost it with me although I'm still unclear what I did to provoke him, breathing possibly. He was yelling at me, spitting in my face whilst he shouted personal insults at me in front of patients, their families & other staff. I asked him not to behave like this as it was unprofessional so he physical removed me & then banned me from his ward. I really quite enjoyed it because if they're not shouting at you, then you are probably doing something wrong.
Stage 2 - Rumination/irritability
Today we had a ward meeting with the deputy directors to try & resolve these difficulties. The doctor wasn't shouting or spitting anymore but he wouldn't look at me, jabbed his finger aggressively at me once or twice & was still openly hostile. Annoyingly he wouldn't let us (me, J & R) answer any of his questions or accusations towards us. So I read the BBC website on my laptop to detach myself from it all but I still managed to understand when he said in khmer that he hates us. When I spoke to ON about the meeting afterwards he asked me had I ever heard of the 4 stages of Anger. In a very Cambodian, round about way, he was telling me The Angry doctor was at stage 2. Give him time, he was advising, maybe next week we could meet together again & then have the opportunity to answer all his complaints about us.
Stage 3 - Calm contemplation
Eventually, I was told, people calm down & can then start to think rationally about the situation. This is when discussion & reconciliation can begin. That's where I am! - I proudly beamed at my deputy director who smiled placatingly back at me. As a psychiatrist he can spot a delusional person from a 100 paces.
Stage 4 - Acceptance
What about the 4th stage? I enquired. Acceptance, ON replied sagely.
Ahhhhhh acceptance I nodded - I will never know it......
I'm now tempted to show ON my own VAS for anger
Stage 1 - Anger
A week ago the paediatric doctor was at this stage with me. He completely lost it with me although I'm still unclear what I did to provoke him, breathing possibly. He was yelling at me, spitting in my face whilst he shouted personal insults at me in front of patients, their families & other staff. I asked him not to behave like this as it was unprofessional so he physical removed me & then banned me from his ward. I really quite enjoyed it because if they're not shouting at you, then you are probably doing something wrong.
Stage 2 - Rumination/irritability
Today we had a ward meeting with the deputy directors to try & resolve these difficulties. The doctor wasn't shouting or spitting anymore but he wouldn't look at me, jabbed his finger aggressively at me once or twice & was still openly hostile. Annoyingly he wouldn't let us (me, J & R) answer any of his questions or accusations towards us. So I read the BBC website on my laptop to detach myself from it all but I still managed to understand when he said in khmer that he hates us. When I spoke to ON about the meeting afterwards he asked me had I ever heard of the 4 stages of Anger. In a very Cambodian, round about way, he was telling me The Angry doctor was at stage 2. Give him time, he was advising, maybe next week we could meet together again & then have the opportunity to answer all his complaints about us.
Stage 3 - Calm contemplation
Eventually, I was told, people calm down & can then start to think rationally about the situation. This is when discussion & reconciliation can begin. That's where I am! - I proudly beamed at my deputy director who smiled placatingly back at me. As a psychiatrist he can spot a delusional person from a 100 paces.
Stage 4 - Acceptance
What about the 4th stage? I enquired. Acceptance, ON replied sagely.
Ahhhhhh acceptance I nodded - I will never know it......
I'm now tempted to show ON my own VAS for anger
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