Welcome to Cambodia - we hope you enjoy your stay

More blog radio silence I’m afraid, this time because I have been acting as tour guide to my parents for the last 3 weeks.  They have now left and the consensus was that “a good time was had by all”. If capacity building doesn’t work out for me here perhaps I could establish a tour company instead.

A sample itinerary would be as follows and concentrates on using as many modes of transport as possible and purchasing many scarves;

Day 1 – Fly to PNH (mode of transport 1), parentals set the tone of visit by suggesting we start on the Angkor beer at 10am. Lazy jet lagged day with drinks and food at FCC. Icy-cold 5 star hotel accommodation.

Day 2 – PNH – tour guide has a meeting at URC office so clients go on a ‘walking tour’ to street 240 for start of scarf buying marathon. Visit Royal Palace, National museum and lunch at Daughters of Cambodia. Respect clients’ request to not go killing fields and S-21. Dinner at Ocean.

Day 3 – PNH – Boat trip to Mekong Island (mode of transport 2), lunch at Friends then walk along riverside (mode of transport 3). Dinner at Ngon.

Day 4 – Travel up to Battambang by private taxi  (mode of transport 4). Accommodation my salubrious house by Wat Sangker. Dinner at Flavours of India, pre-dinner drinks at Geordie’s Gallery.

Day 5 – BTB – Meeting at hospital so “acclimatization day” for clients. Happy hour at Café Eden & dinner White Rose.

Day 6 – BTB – Bamboo train & Phnom Sampeau with David by Tuk Tuk (mode of transport 5). Dinner at Chinese BBQ.

Day 7 – BTB – Trip to Banon and surrounding area (mushroom farm, vine yard). Happy hour & dinner at Bambu hotel.

Day 8 – BTB – Tour of BTB referral hospital and then Tuk Tuk trip to Ek Phnom district and ‘cottage industry’. Dinner at Bamboo Train Café and Circus show.

Day 9 – Travel to Siem Reap by Boat. Accommodation Smiley’s Guesthouse. Dinner at The Sugar Palm.

Day 10 – SR – Small circuit of Angkor Wat. Happy Hour and dinner at FCC.

Day 11 – SR – Grand circuit of Angkor Wat. Dinner Il Forno.

Day 12 – SR – Trip to Silk farm and markets. Cocktails at Elephant Bar & Dinner at Abacus.

Day 13 – Private taxi to Kampong Cham. Accommodation Mekong Hotel. Lunch at Lazy Daze, trip to Rubber Plantation, dinner at Mekong Crossing.

Day 14 – Bus to Sen Monorom (mode of transport 6). Accommodation Phanyro Guesthouse, dinner at The Greenhouse.

Day 15 – SM – Elephant Valley project for visit, dinner and accommodation (hammock).

Day 16 – SM – Travel back from EVP by moto (mode of transport 7). Rest day. Lunch at Chum Nor, dinner at Banana.

Day 17 – SM – Trip to waterfalls, coffee plantation and sea forest. 

Day 18 – Trip to Kratie by shared taxi/minibus (mode of transport 8). Accommodation You Hong, Dinner at Balcony bar.

Day 19 – K – Trip to Kampie and dolphin boat trip, tuk tuk ride to turtle conservation project. Accommodation & dinner at Balcony Bar.

Day 20 – K – Trip to Koh Trung, horse & cart  ride (mode of transport 9).  Lunch at Red Sun Falling. Afternoon trip to another Wat. Dinner and many drinks at Balcony Bar.

Day 21 – Trip back to PNH by shared taxi/minibus. Accommodation ridiculously overpriced 5 star hotel. Visit Wat Phnom. Dinner at Sovanna.

Day 22 – Fly out of PNH.

The cost of me organizing the tour, including all booking of accommodation, transport and meals and acting as a half-arsed interpreter is just the cost of all my lodging, transport & food. This I’m afraid will probably reduce the clients of my tour business to my family and possibly only my parents!

However the feedback from the tour has been good.

Ma Wilson’s top 5 highlights

1)   Boat trip from Siem Reap from Battambang through the floating villages on the Tonle Sap Lake

2)   The scenery – especially the paddy fields

3)   Balcony Bar in Kratie – sundowners and story telling on the terrace with Andrew (owner)

4)   Visiting silk farm in Siem Reap

5)   Seeing me – well she is my mother after all and clearly this should have been listed as #1

Poppa-Bear Wilson’s top 5 highlights

1)   Sweet and Sour Pork – White rose Battambang ranked first place with Balcony bar a close second and this is really his #1

2)   Trip with David the tuk tuk driver around Battambang to see local industry

3)   Having drinks and good conversation with various young female backpackers – Cat & Sarah I’d like to apologize for my father

4)   Mekong Island visit in PNH (before Mum bought the 14 scarves!)

5)   Visiting Banon Temple and obtaining two new wives

Tour guide’s top 5 highlights

1)   Washing the elephants at the Elephant Valley Project

2)   Staying in a 5 star hotel in Phnom Penh and using a duvet even with the AC switched off

3)   Horse and cart trip around Koh Trung & seeing a snake

4)   Breaking down in Tuk Tuk after seeing dolphins and entertaining local children for 2 hours

5)   Evening spent with Tania at Banana in Sen Monorom

There were however some complaints and annoyances;

1)   The Wat next door to my house caused unacceptable noise pollution with its new sound system at what was considered by my clients to be an antisocial hour.

2)   The shared taxi journey from Sen Monorom to Kratie with the 23 passengers and chickens was not appreciated as the ‘authentic Cambodian experience’ it was intended to be. However Pop Wilson regained his GSOH in time to enquire when we arrived in Kratie if it was Phnom Penh and where was the airport?

3)   The private taxi from Siem Reap to Kampong Cham was also not considered to be ideal by the clients who felt that the price and various requests to fit in ‘wives, mothers and sisters’ were both stretching the truth and taking the piss.

4)   The Mekong Hotel manager who tried to sell us shared taxi over a bus ticket wins the least liked Cambodian award. The two Australian women we met in Sen Monorom were less than impressed with paying more than a bus ticket to leave 4 hours earlier than the bus, have practically the same number of passengers as a bus which arrived at the same time in Sen Monorom despite the bus being an hour late. Gideon the tuk tuk driver won extra points for advising on the bus option and hence enters my top ranking Cambodian list.

5)   Sweating was an issue, however this has been a complaint from previous visitors. As this is the tropics, the management reserves right to ignore all sweat/heat related complaints.

6)   My clients were unsettled by the torture/khmer rouge routine at the circus. It was probably a good thing that I respected their request not to visit the Killing fields and S-21.

7)   Witnessed random animal & child cruelty unsettled my clients.

8)   The hospital visit was not ‘enjoyed’ but it was acknowledged that it would result in better understanding of my situation the next time I have a rant over skype.

9)   A series of emails from the UK caused a slight shadow over my holiday but as legal action is being threatened I shall remain cryptic.

The Kindness of Cambodians

I have a list - it is a list of my favourite Cambodians, sometimes when I am in a long and boring meeting, or having a day when some Cambodians are being less than kind, I play the game of trying to rank them. This is an impossible task because as previously discussed the good thing about Cambodia is you never know what it will throw at you next - so just when you have absolutely ranked one person as number one a outsider will do something spectacular and breath takingly kind which shoots them right up to pole position.

So in no particular order.

R is always high up. He is a doctor that works for URC - when the civil war was raging he worked in a hospital in Preah Vihear province - a khmer rouge stronghold, where the the only way to get in and out of the hospital was by plane (whilst being shot at). He is puzzled at the reluctance of hospital staff to take outsiders advice because in the 1990s he was happy to see any outsider brave enough to come to his hospital (MSF, Red Cross) and would welcome any advice they had to offer. Obviously things have changed. R is always high ranking on my list as he is one of the few Cambodians who has been openly cross with me (I think around sensitivities about his English - thanks UN for that - but I'll never be exactly sure), he has also told me what he thinks of me (mainly I am 'acceptable'!) and the only real difference between us is that I get to show my numerous frustrations and anger whereas R is imprisoned in the Cambodian hierarchy and saving face culture which means that when he snaps at me I could hug him. Last week he earned a medal of distinction for services to cheering up a disheveled capacity builder. I was in a meeting, before it had started I got cross, I went to leave, R intercepted me and calmed me down and made me stay, during the meeting he sat next to me - very close and leaning (a bit like our old Irish setter used to). Mid-meeting the obligatory snacks arrived - bananas wrapped in sticky rice and then a banana leaf and grilled - delicious. As I leaned over to take my second helping of delicious banana snack R whispered in my ear "you have me to thank for that - if you had stormed off in a huff then you would have missed out on the snacks" - very true and as I am sure you will agree nothing wrong with his sense of humour or english either!

Ry - another URC staff member - living proof that capacity building works although it doesn't necessarily mean they will stay in the Government system. Ry calls me "My doctor." He understands me when I attempt to speak khmer. He laughs (like a girl) at my jokes. He gives me hope that there are nurses here that care. He knows which part of the brain controls breathing. He calls J & G 'Mommy and Daddy' - his died when he was a teenager. J's job for 3 years now has been to capacity build him and mine appears to be to cheer him up by being silly.

S is my khmer teaching - previously blogged about. She tells me that she pities me (on a regular basis) which I have tried to explain is not so good but I think she only means it kindly. S has lots of advice about water, home security, food, how to work at the hospital, how to stop a nose bleed and other diverse and varied subjects. She gives advice (like her teaching) in an assertive and (as R describes me) aggressive manner. She tells me that I make her happy, grabs my cheeks and pinches them in a gesture of affection that makes my eyes water and I frequently get an urge to take her home.

Sk is a nurse that works in the hospital. On days when I am being particularly frustrated he would talk to me but in the absence of a translator I never really understood what he was trying to say. One particularly challenging morning I learnt that pii-bach-chet means stressed but other than that and sitting next to me at the presentation I went to (blog - living for the weekend) communication has been minimal. With V, my fantastic new VA, starting I have been able to have more in-depth conversations and so last week Sk told me not to take everything so personally. He could see it upset me when the nurses & doctors are rude or ignore me but through V he asked me to be patient and try not to take it as an insult. I was so stunned I had to ask V if he was translating or was that his own opinion. I was reassured that this was a direct translation and that it isn't just kind eyes that Sk has. I repaid him the nest day by telling him off for taking blood without washing his hands, re-capping a needle and not using gloves. The next day he told me - via my VA - that I looked beautiful. I replied - via my VA - that he could call me what he liked but I would still shout at him for re-capping a contaminated needle. Yesterday I saw him clutching his chest and a bag of GTN tablets - I only hope he is a victim of the some what questionable diagnostic and management skills here that I am meant to be capacity building.

Moto-driver - outside my house a man and his moto sits most days waiting for business. Every morning as I cycle to work he sits smoking his cigarette and gestures that I should get him to give me a lift. As I am already on a bicycle this causes him much hilarity. The highlight of this little daily exchange was a few weeks back when I came out of my house gates, crash helmet in hand and took him up on his offer of a lift to the bus station. He couldn't believe it and since this our morning exchange has been taken to a new level of hilarity and uncertainty.

N works for an NGO hospital and is a nurse. She is assertive, strong and feisty. I have spent time with her devising BLS courses and triage protocols but my respect and affection was cemented for her when I spent a week on a trauma course in Siem Reap. She ranks pretty high as the only Cambodian who I have told that I love! I suggested I should move in with her and she could be my Cambodian big sister (Bong S'rey) but she used some feeble excuse about her home being under 2 foot of water. In Siem Reap on the training the trainers course I gave a lecture on feedback. Now as I have previously mentioned positive feedback isn't a big (or any) part of Cambodian culture - so my suggestion that people need 5 bits of positive feedback before delivering 'constructive criticism' was a challenge. When practicing the new teaching techniques one instructor critiqued the teaching style and I critiqued the feedback given. When N gave feedback to one of the young male nurses she manages she was characteristically merciless & unforgiving. So this is the feedback I gave her, "N I really like and respect you, you are an excellent nurse, a natural teacher, professional, competent and committed but your feedback skills are useless!" I now find myself in meetings with her just putting up 5 fingers - her house, she tells me, remains flooded - funny that!

The entire family that run the Expresso Cafe - our friday evening haunt. The Dad is cute, the Mother is smiley, the daughter makes a wicked Pinu Caleda (sic), the sons have nice arms the grandson is gorgeous. When they increased their draft beer price to 75 cents they still give us, regulars, the old 50 cents price, you get free fruit platters and cakes, the people next door in the seeing hands massage place get concerned if I am sat alone and chat away to me in khmer - what's not to like?

Mr L runs the Cafe across the road from my house where there is the Thursday night film club, he is a natural host. When in passing I mentioned the rain had been so heavy that my roof had leaked he immediately wanted to go and speak with my landlady. I had to explain to him that talking about the weather was to an english person what asking you "where you go/been?" and "have you eaten rice/" is to a Cambodian for conversational tactics. When Mr L tells stories he does actions - I guess this makes him a natural children's TV presenter as well.

P from URC office is the cleaner, she has no english so helps with my mission to speak good khmer, but with the help of S I have conveyed the idea that P, S & I should have a girly session and all go to get our nails done together at the market. P brings the snacks and drinks to all the URC meetings and training events at the hospital. URC snacks are great, I think this may be one of the reasons I like her so much!

D the tuk tuk driver was immediately notable to Katie & I by his good english and non-hassling approach to acquiring customers. He has a fine collection of rhyming cockney slang that various tourists have taught him. He loves playing chess so when ever you are off doing something and come back to the tuk tuk you will always find him either near by watching a game or beating someone at chess. He is kind to children and tourists. He does a great trick with a seed pod and his brother has just taught him a new one with a piece of string. When you ask him how much? he always responds - what ever you think - which is working out quite well for him especially now my parents are visiting. He'll have that new tuk tuk very soon at this rate.

So I am in double figures and still could list the two great paediatricians from Siem Reap, the lady from the bicycle shed at the hospital, the giggling waitresses at the Gecko Cafe, the capitol bus station man, the anonymous woman that intercepted me at work about a skirt incident, allowing me to go home to change before an important meeting. The list goes on.....

I will continue to rank and re-hash the list to keep the positive thoughts going when the lower list ranking Cambodians are giving me a hard time and I am not feeling the love so much.