Communication is always important yet miscommunication seems inevitable.
Living in a different culture, communicating in a different language or through translator is fraught with communication errors. Then there is the communication with people who have the same language or culture as you, which is sometimes more susceptible to problems, probably due to the assumption that you will understand each other. Never assume - is makes an ass out of 'u' & 'me'!
Barangs often make communication with Cambodians more difficult by shortening the language & sacrificing grammar, this just makes things worse. Examples of this are "we go now" - does this mean "Shall we go now?" or is it meant as a statement "We are going now"? Who knows - I'm a native speaker & I'm confused. Equally perplexing is a statement like "We healing" - if only native english speakers could just communicate clearly & with clarity it would really help matters.
I have a sample of some of the case studies of communication breakdowns from various South East Asian countries.
Case study 1 - Laos
On Jean & my recent trip to Laos we stayed in Luang Prabang where we enjoyed a variety of breads & pastries, thankful for French imperialism. We found ourselves the only customers one particular morning in a cafe for breakfast - the customer to staff ratio was 1:4. I wanted it all & Jean who gets bad food envy ordered the same - a set breakfast "breakfast Americano' with many choices. Bread or toast? Tea or Coffee? Fruit shake or Juice? Eggs - scrambled, boiled or fried? So many choices but thankfully the fruit salad, cheese & bacon were fixed. To be honest it was all about the cheese & bacon for me.
When the breakfast feast arrived there was an absence of cheese or bacon - so I asked the waiter who looked dazed & confused, then brought us a menu. We pointed out the set breakfast we had ordered & I was fully prepared to hear there was no cheese or bacon - this is a common experience here if you order something they don't have you aren't told rather there is just a failure for it ever to materialise. In Asia one never really knows what will be on their plate when eating out. But this morning there was a new variation. Apparently as we had pointed to the set menu & verbalised our choices but not spoken the words 'cheese & bacon', he had assumed that we didn't want them.
Jean correctly predicted that a one inch slice of bacon & a processed cheese slice would be presented 5 minutes later - when this came to fruition Jean got a complete fit of the hysterical laughter. At one point when the tears were running down her cheeks & her whole body was shaking I was a unable to tell if this was still hysterical fits of laughter or if she had crossed over onto the other side into sobbing with despair.
Case study 2 - Laos
Still in Luang Prabang, Jean & I decided to go on a boat trip on the Mekong after being offered one every morning on multiple occasions for 4 days by the same persistent captain - persistence it would appear does pay.
When given the options we were told we could have a 2 hour trip for a ridiculous price or 1 hour for half the ridiculous price. We foolishly did not ask what the difference was because we assumed that for double the price & time we would be going twice as far. Assumption really is the mother of all f*** ups. We ended up going on a 2 hour boat ride which turned out to be the same distance as the 1 hour trip but just at half the speed. We could have swam faster & that would have almost certainly been cooler. Chugging along at a quarter of a knot doesn't generate any real air movement of note and in the hot season air movement (or even better AC) is all that is really necessary. We roasted for 2 long hours noting this down to another lesson in communication errors.
Case Study 3 - Cambodia
Kristy's last day in Battambang was all planned - lunch at noodle shop, Bambu for happy hour, a trip to the Circus followed by dinner at the Indian. What could possibly go wrong. I even checked online to see which show was on at the circus - there is one show that is inspired by the khmer rouge which tends to be less than cheerful. I called D my favourite tuk tuk driver who wasn't free but arranged for his younger brother to pick us up from the Bambu to go to the Circus. The Circus is a few kms out of town in the middle of a commune, there are no other nearby attractions or places worthy of visit - this will become relevant shortly.
So at 6 30 pm everything was going according to plan as we piled into a tuk tuk to go & see semi-clad cambodians throw themselves about. On arriving at the Circus there was an absence of other tuk tuks, people & general activity which did not bode well. "Oh!" said D's brother, "there is no Circus this evening - it has been cancelled because of Khmer New Year tomorrow". "Oh!" said I, "If you knew that then why did you not tell us this before?". "Because," I was told, "I didn't realise you wanted to see the Circus I thought you just wanted to visit where it was". Classic Cambodian response AND he then expected us to pay him the rate for the driver staying and waiting all evening to take you back home. At this point irritation crept in - I believe I communicated it quite clearly.
Case Study 4 - Vietnam
This is a borrowed story from Katie who last year visited her cousins in Ho Chi Min & found herself going to the hairdressers as they thought it would be 'fun' for her to have something done. Katie clearly stated that she would consent to 'hair straightening' but no colouring or cutting. This was reiterated on several occasions. When a huge, stinking pot of ammonia smelling paste was brought out, Katie got anxious & once again requested that there was no colouring. Smiles all round - of course no colouring - then paralysed by a fear of conflict & an over developed sense of politeness Katie sat petrified whilst they began to smear the foul smelling paste on her hair. It is for curls - she was reassured whilst hacking away at her fringe - 8 months later & she still has great kissing curls - it was at this point that the cold realisation that she was getting a perm hit her. Its easy done, she assumed she had been clear, she assumed that she was just having her hair straightened, she assumed they wouldn't do anything she hadn't consented to - we all know what assumption is the mother of!
In Laos there was a strange censoring technique on the TV that not only erased 'bad words' by bleeps but also blurred out 'bad things' - for example a harpoon killing a man, a gun being fired or someone being punched in the stomach - all blurred out like over zealous soft focus. When I first saw it I thought it was my middle age heralding floaters getting worse but no need to book an optician appointment, it would appear that if you can't hear or see evil then it doesn't exist.
Oddly when they want to people can communicate very effectively - one weekend in March a group of us went to Siem Reap & for Lou's Birthday she wanted us all to dress up in traditional Cambodian wedding outfits. Cambodian's are all size zero, I - despite 14 months in a developing country & 5 serious episodes of gastro - remain a solid size 18. The likelihood of me finding a Cambodian wedding outfit to fit me seemed quite unlikely. Lou reassured me that Americans went to this photographic studio & I mustn't fret as nothing bad would happen.
On walking up the stairs to where the lady-boy makeup artist was waiting, Lou & I were 'greeted' by him standing up in disgust, pointing in horror at me, exclaiming that I was "Twot maintain!" - extremely fat - & then proceeding to do the dismissive hand flapping thing that is so commonly done here, before flouncing off in refusal to deal with me.
Sometimes communication can be very cutting.
Living in a different culture, communicating in a different language or through translator is fraught with communication errors. Then there is the communication with people who have the same language or culture as you, which is sometimes more susceptible to problems, probably due to the assumption that you will understand each other. Never assume - is makes an ass out of 'u' & 'me'!
Barangs often make communication with Cambodians more difficult by shortening the language & sacrificing grammar, this just makes things worse. Examples of this are "we go now" - does this mean "Shall we go now?" or is it meant as a statement "We are going now"? Who knows - I'm a native speaker & I'm confused. Equally perplexing is a statement like "We healing" - if only native english speakers could just communicate clearly & with clarity it would really help matters.
I have a sample of some of the case studies of communication breakdowns from various South East Asian countries.
Case study 1 - Laos
On Jean & my recent trip to Laos we stayed in Luang Prabang where we enjoyed a variety of breads & pastries, thankful for French imperialism. We found ourselves the only customers one particular morning in a cafe for breakfast - the customer to staff ratio was 1:4. I wanted it all & Jean who gets bad food envy ordered the same - a set breakfast "breakfast Americano' with many choices. Bread or toast? Tea or Coffee? Fruit shake or Juice? Eggs - scrambled, boiled or fried? So many choices but thankfully the fruit salad, cheese & bacon were fixed. To be honest it was all about the cheese & bacon for me.
When the breakfast feast arrived there was an absence of cheese or bacon - so I asked the waiter who looked dazed & confused, then brought us a menu. We pointed out the set breakfast we had ordered & I was fully prepared to hear there was no cheese or bacon - this is a common experience here if you order something they don't have you aren't told rather there is just a failure for it ever to materialise. In Asia one never really knows what will be on their plate when eating out. But this morning there was a new variation. Apparently as we had pointed to the set menu & verbalised our choices but not spoken the words 'cheese & bacon', he had assumed that we didn't want them.
Jean correctly predicted that a one inch slice of bacon & a processed cheese slice would be presented 5 minutes later - when this came to fruition Jean got a complete fit of the hysterical laughter. At one point when the tears were running down her cheeks & her whole body was shaking I was a unable to tell if this was still hysterical fits of laughter or if she had crossed over onto the other side into sobbing with despair.
Case study 2 - Laos
Still in Luang Prabang, Jean & I decided to go on a boat trip on the Mekong after being offered one every morning on multiple occasions for 4 days by the same persistent captain - persistence it would appear does pay.
When given the options we were told we could have a 2 hour trip for a ridiculous price or 1 hour for half the ridiculous price. We foolishly did not ask what the difference was because we assumed that for double the price & time we would be going twice as far. Assumption really is the mother of all f*** ups. We ended up going on a 2 hour boat ride which turned out to be the same distance as the 1 hour trip but just at half the speed. We could have swam faster & that would have almost certainly been cooler. Chugging along at a quarter of a knot doesn't generate any real air movement of note and in the hot season air movement (or even better AC) is all that is really necessary. We roasted for 2 long hours noting this down to another lesson in communication errors.
Case Study 3 - Cambodia
Kristy's last day in Battambang was all planned - lunch at noodle shop, Bambu for happy hour, a trip to the Circus followed by dinner at the Indian. What could possibly go wrong. I even checked online to see which show was on at the circus - there is one show that is inspired by the khmer rouge which tends to be less than cheerful. I called D my favourite tuk tuk driver who wasn't free but arranged for his younger brother to pick us up from the Bambu to go to the Circus. The Circus is a few kms out of town in the middle of a commune, there are no other nearby attractions or places worthy of visit - this will become relevant shortly.
So at 6 30 pm everything was going according to plan as we piled into a tuk tuk to go & see semi-clad cambodians throw themselves about. On arriving at the Circus there was an absence of other tuk tuks, people & general activity which did not bode well. "Oh!" said D's brother, "there is no Circus this evening - it has been cancelled because of Khmer New Year tomorrow". "Oh!" said I, "If you knew that then why did you not tell us this before?". "Because," I was told, "I didn't realise you wanted to see the Circus I thought you just wanted to visit where it was". Classic Cambodian response AND he then expected us to pay him the rate for the driver staying and waiting all evening to take you back home. At this point irritation crept in - I believe I communicated it quite clearly.
Case Study 4 - Vietnam
This is a borrowed story from Katie who last year visited her cousins in Ho Chi Min & found herself going to the hairdressers as they thought it would be 'fun' for her to have something done. Katie clearly stated that she would consent to 'hair straightening' but no colouring or cutting. This was reiterated on several occasions. When a huge, stinking pot of ammonia smelling paste was brought out, Katie got anxious & once again requested that there was no colouring. Smiles all round - of course no colouring - then paralysed by a fear of conflict & an over developed sense of politeness Katie sat petrified whilst they began to smear the foul smelling paste on her hair. It is for curls - she was reassured whilst hacking away at her fringe - 8 months later & she still has great kissing curls - it was at this point that the cold realisation that she was getting a perm hit her. Its easy done, she assumed she had been clear, she assumed that she was just having her hair straightened, she assumed they wouldn't do anything she hadn't consented to - we all know what assumption is the mother of!
 |
| A simple case of hair straightening - clearly |
Oddly when they want to people can communicate very effectively - one weekend in March a group of us went to Siem Reap & for Lou's Birthday she wanted us all to dress up in traditional Cambodian wedding outfits. Cambodian's are all size zero, I - despite 14 months in a developing country & 5 serious episodes of gastro - remain a solid size 18. The likelihood of me finding a Cambodian wedding outfit to fit me seemed quite unlikely. Lou reassured me that Americans went to this photographic studio & I mustn't fret as nothing bad would happen.
On walking up the stairs to where the lady-boy makeup artist was waiting, Lou & I were 'greeted' by him standing up in disgust, pointing in horror at me, exclaiming that I was "Twot maintain!" - extremely fat - & then proceeding to do the dismissive hand flapping thing that is so commonly done here, before flouncing off in refusal to deal with me.
Sometimes communication can be very cutting.
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