I know that out there among the small band of loyal blog followers there is a significant proportion of you that only really enjoy reading it if I am suffering - and to you I say - read & enjoy!
I had a lovely rejuvenating weekend and went into this week with a bounce in my step and joy in my heart - bouncing and joyfulness are short lived phenomenon here in Cambodia.
Monday - cycle into work in what I like to call "Liverpool rain" which strangely enough is what the doctor I met in the directors office also likes to call it - he did a masters in tropical medicine there whilst I was a medical student at the same university. We bonded over the pathetic-ness of english rain and then he told me that if my khmer was ever to improve I would need to find myself a Cambodian husband. This is a recurring piece of advice I receive here - I wonder if TEFL are familiar with this particular teaching technique? When I raised concerns about my age and hence no available similar aged cambodian men (all married by the age of 25) his response was "No problem! Plenty of OLD barang women like you come here and find much younger cambodian boys" - I didn't think it was worth trying to explain the concept of CRB clearance for my job.
Next stop was the bus to Phnom Penh and this is when the bounce and joy began to wane.
Firstly on the way there the rain went up a notch to the more familiar and less pathetic Cambodian tropical rain - result much wetness. Then the 6 and half hour bus journey involved FULL ON air conditioning. So lets explore this further - complete & total wetness AND full on prolonged AC - hmmmm result VERY COLD. Now Katie had come prepared with cardigan and anorak as opposed to my thin cotton shirt but what we were both still lacking, which other fellow cambodian passengers had remembered, were woolly hat, scarf and blankets. Huddling together like penguins in an antarctic winter we shivered our way down to PNH only mildly distracted by some very bad khmer karaoke videos. The Blue cover being a particular personal favourite.
On arrival to PNH Katie promptly turned as white as a sheet doubled over and spent the next 48 hours bed bound. There is nothing quite like doing a 13 hour round trip to lay feverish and delirious in a grimy hotel room missing the meeting you had travelled all the way down for. It would appear that it was not just me who was destined for a 'great' week.
As her friend and physician I purchased plenty of paracetamol, antibiotics, water & oral rehydration solution, also a sound personal investment it was soon to transpire.
Tuesday - After an inexplicable restless night I got up slightly disheveled and feeling less than right but put it down to going out in sympathy with Katie who is after all my astral twin. The meeting I had at URC I discovered was 3 and not 2 days long, putting my underwear calculations into complete disarray - still I think that the three cambodian men in my meeting who I told this information to were appreciative of my sharing.
Dr C from an NGO hospital commented on how quiet I was and asked me to speak more, when I pointed out to him that the last two times we have met we have had massive disagreements and one heated email exchange and I was just trying to avoid conflict the 3 of them beamed, "you are improving!" I was smugly told.
Dr R from URC was quiet and withdrawn so I asked him if everything was OK, his response was that he could hardly get a word in as I talk too much! So lets examine this one further - in 5 minutes I am told a) I am not talking enough and b) I am talking far too much - in the SAME meeting. Now what does a girl do with that kind of feedback?
By the end of the day we had completed two of the six training packages and I was feeling all warm & joyous about Cambodia and Cambodians, I LOVE it here I was thinking - I could stay here forever, maybe I should marry a Cambodian it would help with my khmer! I had failed however to take the warning sign of no appetite and not eating all day seriously.
1030 pm that night I woke absolutely freezing and yet hot to touch, I tried to get up and realized that all my limbs really hurt and as one Cambodian once told me, i was "in a severe headache". What followed was a very long night involving a fan, a toilet, diminished supplies of toilet paper and general badness. I HATE it here I thought - it is a dirty, disease ridden place, Cambodians are trying to poison me with their food - get me out of here!
Wednesday - Knowing that Dr R & D from URC were at other meetings all day and that the plan was for me and Dr C to complete the four remaining training packages by ourselves, I foolishly got up (not from sleep but from laying groaning on my bed) and tuk tuk'd in to the URC office. My limbs were in no fit state for walking or lifting and as I soon discovered my head wasn't so happy with sitting either. Poor Dr C spent the morning with me either in the loo or laying groaning on the floor with my laptop tipped precariously so I could type whilst horizontal. For the last half hour he worked silently on his computer whilst I moaned quietly under the table. It was at this point that he offered me IV fluids - this is the panacea in Cambodia - but in fairness to him in this case was probably indicated. When I asked him how much he would charge me - he was after all seriously offering to go out, buy an IV cannula, giving set and saline - he appeared genuinely hurt and told me that for me it would be free and that NOT everything in Cambodia was about money. After three failed attempts to sit up we decided it was best we called it a day and got a tuk tuk back to the hotel with him escorting me as his parents only lived around the corner. As I apologized for letting him down he replied with a sad little smile, his eyes said "you're not the first barang & you won't be the last" but his lips told me "Don't worry sometimes even I get sick"!
Back at the grimy hotel I joined Katie in her room so we could groan and moan and be horizontal together. There was also a long and detailed discussion regarding the colour chart of diarrhoea hues which kept us occupied for most of the afternoon.
That evening after 48 hours with neither of us eating we decided we should venture out and attempt to eat - jacket potato. This as it turned out was a grave error - Katie vomited and I spent another night seriously considering if it would just be easier just to sit all night on the toilet with my head pressed on the cool tiled wall - whimpering softly.
Thursday - It was decided that the only thing to do was to make a break for freedom - our trip to PNH wasn't working out the way we had both planned. Too weak and sleep deprived to care we tuk tuk'd it to the bus station & got our tickets to 'the hell out of here'. Katie was determined that her trip to PNH would not be for nothing so we went to the Pencil Supermarket. Whilst she went in on her quest for re-fried beans the following conversation occurred.
Scene - me slumped in tuk tuk - disheveled and haggard from 3 sleepless nights and badness. Young Cambodian tuk tuk driver eager to practice his poor english.
Me - getting out iPod in a preemptive strike to avoid any conversation.
Tuk Tuk Driver - How much?
Me - urgh?
TTD - your phone how much Cambodian?
Me - Not phone, iPod - me pulling out $20 Nokia - this is my cambodian phone.
Conversation about cost of phones and multiple SIM cards - long...dull.
TTD takes my phone calls himself on it, programs my number into his phone, then takes a photo of me with his phone.
TTD - Where you go?
Me - Battambang.
TTD - You live there with someone - you make babies?
Me - (In Khmer) I am not married - I do not have children.
TTD blowing his nose by snorting the snot directly onto the street - (In Khmer) I come back with you, be your husband and make babies with you.
Me smiling weakly & suppressing nausea - No thank you.
TTD - How old you?
Me - In my country that is a very rude question.
TTD - You are 40's
Me (In khmer) - I am 38 years old (in english) its just been a very long week already!
Long Silence..................
TTD - If you marry Cambodian man you speak khmer better.........
Saved by Katie staggering out of the Supermarket doubled over, green and clutching a bag of baked beans - ot mean refried beans.
The only way to describe the journey home is the complete opposite of the one down. Katie had come prepared with all her warm clothes at the top of her bag - these however turned out not to be necessary. We quite literally roasted at the back of the bus with insufficient AC and deafening in-bus entertainment that defied even in-ear head phones. It was good to see that the Cambodians still had the woolly hats, scarf and blankets out in force. The boy-racer bus driver was just an added bonus because when you are feeling nauseated there is nothing better than sudden swerving and emergency stops to help augment the feeling that you would rather die than remain another second on this bus.
At one point I woke up stuck to the leather seat, with the sun beating through the window, sat in a pool of my own sweat and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth thinking - how can the same bus company have such variation in their climate control?
But we made it back and Gary bought my bike to the bus station in exchange for his parcels I had collected in PNH. Katie & I then went and had 4 drinks each and some refried beans. This night the 4 am monk drumming did not wake me.
Friday - Today I remain appetite-less but able to stand so as I had training to deliver and a possible new VA to meet I went into the hospital. No 48 hour rules apply here.
Dr ON told me this morning after the morning meeting that clinical case reviews were difficult to conduct here because in Cambodia people don't want to take responsibility or be accountable - can't argue with that I thought.
Dr L told me that he had an idea that there should be a protocol folder on his ward - yes what a good I idea - I said. And I suggested that to you month ago - I thought to myself. I'm beginning to understand that capacity building is basically like marriage - to get what you want you have to convince the other person it was their idea all along.
Dr C emailed me to say - "get better soon ;-)"
Dr D emailed to thank me for all my hard work (didn't mention the whimpering on the meeting room floor).
The training went OK.
The love affair with Cambodia appears to be back on.
But when C - my ex-VA yahoo messaged me to tell me he misses Cambodian food & Malaysian food is simply too hot, he worries he will get sick. What is all this fast-food, it is terrible and expensive? - it took all my will power not to not reply - THE FOOD HERE IS TERRIBLE & DISEASE RIDDEN & RIGHT NOW I'D KILL FOR SOME STERILE, FAST FOOD!
Meanwhile the Cambodian weight loss plan continues...........
I had a lovely rejuvenating weekend and went into this week with a bounce in my step and joy in my heart - bouncing and joyfulness are short lived phenomenon here in Cambodia.
Monday - cycle into work in what I like to call "Liverpool rain" which strangely enough is what the doctor I met in the directors office also likes to call it - he did a masters in tropical medicine there whilst I was a medical student at the same university. We bonded over the pathetic-ness of english rain and then he told me that if my khmer was ever to improve I would need to find myself a Cambodian husband. This is a recurring piece of advice I receive here - I wonder if TEFL are familiar with this particular teaching technique? When I raised concerns about my age and hence no available similar aged cambodian men (all married by the age of 25) his response was "No problem! Plenty of OLD barang women like you come here and find much younger cambodian boys" - I didn't think it was worth trying to explain the concept of CRB clearance for my job.
Next stop was the bus to Phnom Penh and this is when the bounce and joy began to wane.
Firstly on the way there the rain went up a notch to the more familiar and less pathetic Cambodian tropical rain - result much wetness. Then the 6 and half hour bus journey involved FULL ON air conditioning. So lets explore this further - complete & total wetness AND full on prolonged AC - hmmmm result VERY COLD. Now Katie had come prepared with cardigan and anorak as opposed to my thin cotton shirt but what we were both still lacking, which other fellow cambodian passengers had remembered, were woolly hat, scarf and blankets. Huddling together like penguins in an antarctic winter we shivered our way down to PNH only mildly distracted by some very bad khmer karaoke videos. The Blue cover being a particular personal favourite.
On arrival to PNH Katie promptly turned as white as a sheet doubled over and spent the next 48 hours bed bound. There is nothing quite like doing a 13 hour round trip to lay feverish and delirious in a grimy hotel room missing the meeting you had travelled all the way down for. It would appear that it was not just me who was destined for a 'great' week.
As her friend and physician I purchased plenty of paracetamol, antibiotics, water & oral rehydration solution, also a sound personal investment it was soon to transpire.
Tuesday - After an inexplicable restless night I got up slightly disheveled and feeling less than right but put it down to going out in sympathy with Katie who is after all my astral twin. The meeting I had at URC I discovered was 3 and not 2 days long, putting my underwear calculations into complete disarray - still I think that the three cambodian men in my meeting who I told this information to were appreciative of my sharing.
Dr C from an NGO hospital commented on how quiet I was and asked me to speak more, when I pointed out to him that the last two times we have met we have had massive disagreements and one heated email exchange and I was just trying to avoid conflict the 3 of them beamed, "you are improving!" I was smugly told.
Dr R from URC was quiet and withdrawn so I asked him if everything was OK, his response was that he could hardly get a word in as I talk too much! So lets examine this one further - in 5 minutes I am told a) I am not talking enough and b) I am talking far too much - in the SAME meeting. Now what does a girl do with that kind of feedback?
By the end of the day we had completed two of the six training packages and I was feeling all warm & joyous about Cambodia and Cambodians, I LOVE it here I was thinking - I could stay here forever, maybe I should marry a Cambodian it would help with my khmer! I had failed however to take the warning sign of no appetite and not eating all day seriously.
1030 pm that night I woke absolutely freezing and yet hot to touch, I tried to get up and realized that all my limbs really hurt and as one Cambodian once told me, i was "in a severe headache". What followed was a very long night involving a fan, a toilet, diminished supplies of toilet paper and general badness. I HATE it here I thought - it is a dirty, disease ridden place, Cambodians are trying to poison me with their food - get me out of here!
Wednesday - Knowing that Dr R & D from URC were at other meetings all day and that the plan was for me and Dr C to complete the four remaining training packages by ourselves, I foolishly got up (not from sleep but from laying groaning on my bed) and tuk tuk'd in to the URC office. My limbs were in no fit state for walking or lifting and as I soon discovered my head wasn't so happy with sitting either. Poor Dr C spent the morning with me either in the loo or laying groaning on the floor with my laptop tipped precariously so I could type whilst horizontal. For the last half hour he worked silently on his computer whilst I moaned quietly under the table. It was at this point that he offered me IV fluids - this is the panacea in Cambodia - but in fairness to him in this case was probably indicated. When I asked him how much he would charge me - he was after all seriously offering to go out, buy an IV cannula, giving set and saline - he appeared genuinely hurt and told me that for me it would be free and that NOT everything in Cambodia was about money. After three failed attempts to sit up we decided it was best we called it a day and got a tuk tuk back to the hotel with him escorting me as his parents only lived around the corner. As I apologized for letting him down he replied with a sad little smile, his eyes said "you're not the first barang & you won't be the last" but his lips told me "Don't worry sometimes even I get sick"!
Back at the grimy hotel I joined Katie in her room so we could groan and moan and be horizontal together. There was also a long and detailed discussion regarding the colour chart of diarrhoea hues which kept us occupied for most of the afternoon.
That evening after 48 hours with neither of us eating we decided we should venture out and attempt to eat - jacket potato. This as it turned out was a grave error - Katie vomited and I spent another night seriously considering if it would just be easier just to sit all night on the toilet with my head pressed on the cool tiled wall - whimpering softly.
Thursday - It was decided that the only thing to do was to make a break for freedom - our trip to PNH wasn't working out the way we had both planned. Too weak and sleep deprived to care we tuk tuk'd it to the bus station & got our tickets to 'the hell out of here'. Katie was determined that her trip to PNH would not be for nothing so we went to the Pencil Supermarket. Whilst she went in on her quest for re-fried beans the following conversation occurred.
Scene - me slumped in tuk tuk - disheveled and haggard from 3 sleepless nights and badness. Young Cambodian tuk tuk driver eager to practice his poor english.
Me - getting out iPod in a preemptive strike to avoid any conversation.
Tuk Tuk Driver - How much?
Me - urgh?
TTD - your phone how much Cambodian?
Me - Not phone, iPod - me pulling out $20 Nokia - this is my cambodian phone.
Conversation about cost of phones and multiple SIM cards - long...dull.
TTD takes my phone calls himself on it, programs my number into his phone, then takes a photo of me with his phone.
TTD - Where you go?
Me - Battambang.
TTD - You live there with someone - you make babies?
Me - (In Khmer) I am not married - I do not have children.
TTD blowing his nose by snorting the snot directly onto the street - (In Khmer) I come back with you, be your husband and make babies with you.
Me smiling weakly & suppressing nausea - No thank you.
TTD - How old you?
Me - In my country that is a very rude question.
TTD - You are 40's
Me (In khmer) - I am 38 years old (in english) its just been a very long week already!
Long Silence..................
TTD - If you marry Cambodian man you speak khmer better.........
Saved by Katie staggering out of the Supermarket doubled over, green and clutching a bag of baked beans - ot mean refried beans.
The only way to describe the journey home is the complete opposite of the one down. Katie had come prepared with all her warm clothes at the top of her bag - these however turned out not to be necessary. We quite literally roasted at the back of the bus with insufficient AC and deafening in-bus entertainment that defied even in-ear head phones. It was good to see that the Cambodians still had the woolly hats, scarf and blankets out in force. The boy-racer bus driver was just an added bonus because when you are feeling nauseated there is nothing better than sudden swerving and emergency stops to help augment the feeling that you would rather die than remain another second on this bus.
At one point I woke up stuck to the leather seat, with the sun beating through the window, sat in a pool of my own sweat and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth thinking - how can the same bus company have such variation in their climate control?
But we made it back and Gary bought my bike to the bus station in exchange for his parcels I had collected in PNH. Katie & I then went and had 4 drinks each and some refried beans. This night the 4 am monk drumming did not wake me.
Friday - Today I remain appetite-less but able to stand so as I had training to deliver and a possible new VA to meet I went into the hospital. No 48 hour rules apply here.
Dr ON told me this morning after the morning meeting that clinical case reviews were difficult to conduct here because in Cambodia people don't want to take responsibility or be accountable - can't argue with that I thought.
Dr L told me that he had an idea that there should be a protocol folder on his ward - yes what a good I idea - I said. And I suggested that to you month ago - I thought to myself. I'm beginning to understand that capacity building is basically like marriage - to get what you want you have to convince the other person it was their idea all along.
Dr C emailed me to say - "get better soon ;-)"
Dr D emailed to thank me for all my hard work (didn't mention the whimpering on the meeting room floor).
The training went OK.
The love affair with Cambodia appears to be back on.
But when C - my ex-VA yahoo messaged me to tell me he misses Cambodian food & Malaysian food is simply too hot, he worries he will get sick. What is all this fast-food, it is terrible and expensive? - it took all my will power not to not reply - THE FOOD HERE IS TERRIBLE & DISEASE RIDDEN & RIGHT NOW I'D KILL FOR SOME STERILE, FAST FOOD!
Meanwhile the Cambodian weight loss plan continues...........
oh god is it too late to cancel my flight???
ReplyDeleteps i can post a comment again yay!
ReplyDeleteand hope you and katie are recovering x